Butter Users Anonymous

Setting:  Steaming hot kitchen, in the back there's a circle of chairs filled with secretly, happy cooks.

Me: (stands up) Hi, my name is Jill.  I cook with butter.

Support Group: Hi, Jill.

Me: I've been using butter in my cooking for the last three years.  It started out as a simple curiosity, really.  I had watched TV chefs use it and saw how happy they were with their cooking.  I thought, maybe…maybe, if I tried it, I would be a better cook, too.

So one day, I went down to the corner dealer grocery store.  At first, I didn't know which kind to buy.  There were different prices, different labels, but I didn't really know which one was going to be the best.  I picked the Indian Maiden seductively offering up her creamy box of butter.  

I didn't get hooked right away.  It took time to acquire a taste for it.  I had used margarine for so long, it was, well, different.  I used the salted butter, at first.  Now, I only buy the pure stuff, UNSALTED.  I can't honestly tell the difference in my cooking, but it's what all the Cool Chefs use so I use it, too.

Over time, I've learned how to use it when cooking vegetables, making sauces creamier.  It's the best foundation of a good rue.  You can't use too much or the food turns out oily.  It's not good to use too much.  I spread it on my toast.  I mix it with herbs and garlic and toss it in when I'm making rice.  I really love it!

Support Group Leader: (interrupting) Have you considered quitting?  Have you tried alternatives to butter?

Me: Oh sure, I keep cans of nonstick spray in the spice cabinet and I use them for baking.  I can't bring myself to eat margarine anymore, it's too salty.

Support Group Leader: How do feel about using butter openly, especially on your food blog?

Me: It makes me nervous.  I'm afraid the healthy minded people won't like me.  If I suggest margarine in my recipes, like cookbooks do, I'm afraid the Foodies will think my cooking is not up to par. However, when I'm cooking alone, I could care less.  I'm happy using butter.  I truly enjoy the flavors it brings out in other ingredients.  I feel very secretive about my pleasures with butter.

So, I casually write it in as a generic term.  Hoping everyone will substitute it with whatever they use and pay no mind to my personal preference.  That's what cooking is really all about anyways, Personal Preference.  We only like what we like.

Support Group Leader: Do you feel better now that you've shared this with the group?

Me: Yes! Most definitely.  I know I'm not really a bad person.  I just wanted to come out of the pantry and be more open about my happiness with butter.

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I hope you got a chuckle from my imaginative support group for secretly, happy cooks that use butter.  Feel free to share if the moment over takes you.